Friday, October 25, 2013

The Dresden Enterprise, We Like the Depression

We Like the Depression
Compliments of--
      The Dresden Enterprise
            It Covers the County Like
                   the Dew of Heaven

I like the Depression.

No more prosperity for me.

I have had more fun since the Depression started than I ever had in my life.  I had forgotten how to live, what it meant to have real friends, what it was like to eat common everyday food.  Fact is, I was getting just a little high-hat.  

Six years ago, only one man of the Office Equipment Organization could be out of town at the same time and had to leave at the last minute and get back as soon as possible.  many times I have driven 100 miles to a banquet, sat through three hours of bunk in order to make a five-minute speech, then drive the 100 miles back as to be ready for work the next morning.

Nowadays, as many Office Equipment employees as are invited make these trips and we stay as long as we want to.  Most of the out fit could leave the office and it wouldn't make any difference.

I like the Depression.  I have time to visit my friends, to make new ones.  Six years ago when I went to a neighboring town, i always stayed at the hotel.  now I go home with my friends, stay all night and enjoy home cooking.  I have even spent the week-end with some of the boys who have been kind enough to invite me.

It's great to drop into a store and feel that you can spend an hour or two or three or a half day just visiting and not feel that you are wasting valuable time.  I like the depression.

I am getting acquainted with my neighbors.  In the last six months I have become acquainted with folks who have been living next door to me for three years.  I am following the biblical admonition "Love Your neighbor."  One of my neighbors has one of the best looking wives I have ever seen.  She is a dandy.

I haven't been out on a party in 18 months.  I am getting acquainted with my neighbors and learning to love them.

Six years ago I ordered my clothes from a merchant tailor, two or three suits at a time.  All my clothes were good ones.  I always dressed up.  But now I haven't bought a suit in two years.  i am mighty proud of my Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes.  When i dress up, I am dressed up and don't mean maybe.  I like the depression.

Six years ago I was so busy and my wife was so busy that we didn't see much of each other, consequently, we sort of lost interest in each other.  I never went home to lunch.  About twice a week I went home for dinner at 6:30 o'clock.  I never had time to go anywhere with her.  If I did go on a party, I could never locate her, since there was always a "blond" or a "red-headed" available.  I didn't worry much about it.

My wife belonged to all the clubs in town.  She even joined the young mothers' club.  We didn't have any children, but she was studying and between playing bridge and going to clubs, she was never at home.  We got stuck up and high-faluting.  We even took down the old family bed and bought a set of twin beds on the installments.

When I would come home at night, if my was at home, she would already be in her bed and I would crawl in mine.  If I came in first it was vice versa.

We like the Depression.  We have come down off our pedestal and are living at my house now.  the twin beds are stored in the garage and the old family affair is being used.  We are enjoying life.  Instead of taking a hot water bottle to bed cold nights, she sticks her heels in my back, just like she did before Hoover was elected.

I have lost my book of telephone numbers.  My wife has dropped all the clubs.  I believe we are falling in love all over again.  I am pretty well satisfied with my wife.  think I will keep her, at least until she is 40, and then if i feel like I do  now, I may trade her for two twenties.

I am feeling better since the Depression.  I take more exercise.   I walk to town and a lot of folks who used to drive Cadillacs are walking with me.  I like the Depression.

My digestion is better.  I haven't been to see a doctor in a year.  I can eat anything I want.

I am getting real, honest-to-goodness food.  Six years ago, we had a filet mignon once a week, now we have round steak with flour and gravy.  Then we had roast breast of guinea hen, now we are glad to get sow-bossom with the buttons on it.

I like the Depression.  My salary has been cut to where I can't afford to buy lettuce and spinach and parsley and we can't afford to have sandwiches and frozen desserts and all that damfoolishness which has killed more good men than the World War.

I like the Depression.  Six years ago I never had time to go to Church.  I played golf all day Sunday and besides I was so darned smart that there wasn't a preacher in south Florida who could tell me anything. Now I am going to Church regularly--never miss a Sunday. 

And if this Depression keeps on, I am going to prayer meetings before long.

I like the Depression.

Apologies to Henry Ashley, Amarillo News Globe, killed in auto wreck after this article was written.

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